The Ballads of Gravity

invisible              “My next stage of life began in a private college where I was literally invisible for two years; I was there only among the boys. I a shy boy and I had no idea about girls and how to treat them so I never spoke to any of my girl-class mates. I had nothing to speak. I even failed to recognize them publically. Now, I think that happened because I never had any contact with any girl for three years and that could be a reason for that behavior about which I have any idea. But the interesting story of my active romantic life, after a long gap of three years, began with some girl whom I didn’t know well, even her name. They arranged our degree class hours conveniently for their convenience and someday we had classes after noon and sometimes fore noon. For the first some months it was actually difficult for me to fall into the system of a private college. As times passed by, one day I saw a girl who was heading forth the college. She was beautiful and lovely

Monastic life                   “For the next three years, from the age of fifteen to eighteen, I lived my life somehow! I lived and I lived my life in seminary far from home and feelings, emotions or whatever that tempt the romantic side of mine. I read the holy bible and studied liturgy which I hadn’t ever imagined or dreamed. As the time passed by, my memories also faded in to the thick mist of conscious construction of church and liturgy, memories of all the girls I loved or infatuated faded slowly or slept with in my memories. Memories were hypnotized by the religious teachings or retreats, which, in fact, brain washed me in order to forget or restrict all my romantic entertainment. Actually I never thought about a girl during that three years and no one visited my memories. What else to happen, I became a perfect monk- no girlfriend; no worldly thoughts; no dream of professional achievements; no thoughts of completion; no physical aspirations and so on.

Memory II         “I loved Tania when I was ten years of old. I was a shy boy and I think still I am shy, maybe I like it or it loves me. If I ask me again whether   I am shy or not, I might say I am not because I am not always shy, but I am sometimes. And that makes me what I am. I had any idea about Tania, but she was beautiful, ‘crazy’ and she was everything what I wasn’t. I was, actually, an invisible and non- existing creature for Tania because she hadn’t ever seen me or met me. I was always behind her and infatuating her beauty and craziness on the way back to home from the school. It was, perfectly, my first love or romance or crush or infatuation. She lived lively in my memories only for some few years. She is the pastness of my past.”             Recollecting the buried memories from the tombs of thoughts, one often falls in the same tombs of thoughts and struggle to escape from the dungeon of the buried. A love for a girl for the first time in a boy’s life must

Job X 'She' Memory I             “She makes the best of mine, of romance, of love, of craziness, and possibly every sanity and insanity of mine! If my memory cheats me, it is only in the thoughts of Her. And I love the game of my memory, which makes me a prey of memories.”               Insanity, which is celebrated within the conceptual and aesthetic conventions of his spiritualized neo-radical-humanism , Job is every human being, he hasn’t ever experienced the existence of his soul and self through them, but the realization of the soul and self is closely related to his existence when he talks about Her because it is (was) she who brought him to realm of the celebration of self and soul. Feeling is everything. “She hasn’t ever talked to me or smiled at me or I haven’t ever had the bloom of being with her at least for a while, but I have seen her some yards away and at that moment I haven’t ever thought about her. I think of her now, what a story,