Skip to main content

The Valentine

It was the 13th of August when I received her message, a simple note on WhatsApp:
“I was in Kannur last weekend :p”
“Coming tomorrow.”
She comes and goes, a presence that lingers yet never truly stays. Each departure, each moment of leaving, is marked by the same phrase:
“I was in Kannur :p.”
It’s her signature, an emblem that always follows her, like a shadow trailing her every move.
Why does she return to Cannanore? Is there some occasion I’m unaware of? A gathering, a celebration? The thoughts swirl like a storm in my mind. I, seeking answers, reach out to my mother, casually inquiring if there’s some event—perhaps a marriage or a family function. It was then that she revealed it.
A family friend’s engagement. (02/10/14, 03:30 PM)
I sat in silence, overwhelmed by the weight of it all.
“What is happening?” I thought, my chest tightening, each beat of my heart louder than the last.
“No… I can’t… I didn’t…”
The realization crashed over me, a wave of panic that nearly pulled me under. I tried to breathe, but the air felt thick.
“I can’t—this can’t be real. Why didn’t I see it?”
My mind raced, faster than I could control, every thought an eruption, every emotion an uncontrollable surge. I was caught in the pull of something greater than myself, a force that I couldn’t resist, no matter how hard I tried.
And then it hit me—my life, my choices, my illusions—all suspended in the balance, just like that.
I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t prepared for the depth of it.
I imagined the things I still wanted to do, the life I had planned to live, the places I had yet to visit, the adventures I had yet to embark on. “I can’t die like this. Not now, not for this. Not for something so trivial.”
But as the turmoil in my mind grew, I realized the truth. There was no escaping it. There was no running from what had already taken root.
I didn’t want to be consumed by the weight of it all, but somehow, it pulled me in. It’s funny how something so small—an engagement, a simple message—could unravel everything I thought I knew about myself.
In a moment of clarity, I packed my things, the weight of the decision pulling me towards action, towards her. I didn’t know what I was going to do, only that I needed to move, needed to be somewhere else. Somewhere near her.
I boarded the train, not knowing what awaited me, but knowing that in some strange way, I had to be there. She had become an enigma, a puzzle I couldn’t quite solve, and yet, she was the answer to questions I hadn’t even known to ask.
P.S. I met her.
And she said, “Curiosity killed the cat :p.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

An Elegy on a Night Party II

They sing the funeral song on the death of their Day, “Day is dead, let's celebrate the birth of the Night from vivacity to ecstasy and finally a fall from the seventh heaven unto the abyss of dreams and lust.” Having nothing to do in the nights of my ‘usual routine’, I had my same chair on the same corner, a platform above the dance floor of the Seventh Heaven party club at the Down Town.             Everything in me tends to go on to become something else. The pervasive  aesthetics of life and the disposals of proposals from the mighty eyes of Almighty, I placed myself on the corner for no reason. My soul is impatient with itself, as with a bothersome child; its restlessness keeps growing and is forever the same. She holds spring against her breast and stares at me with sad eyes as if I’m a son of all other seasons other than spring. I don’t know who the she in my life is, but I keep watching and following her, th...

A Utopian Hallelujah

UPDATED : I saw her first on 26 January 2009                    : This post was written on 18/03/2013: 06:42 PM                          : And i said what i wanted to say on Wednesday, May 22, 2013 6:18:00 AM                    : I met her in person on 16/8/14: 12:07 PM, the craziest thing I've ever done in my life! They say I am crazy 'cause I am in love with the crazy utopia. "Crazy Utopia" could be a person or her, obviously her, thoughts or even her existence. Each day i born new and likewise my love for her is new. I know her for the past five years and i am in love with her from that very point of time whence the "past five years" started. I've decided a myriads and myriads of times not to think of her ever and for never. But, I st...

At the hour of Last breath

(A poem by Rafeeque Ahammad. Translated by Anand ) Stay with me at the hour of my last breath, Amassing the burning veracities of life, My Fingers are dead, Let them get ease by caressing you. Last molecules of my breath may cart thy fragrance. My love, let thy face plunge In the eyes of mine, never to be opened. Ears, no longer be opened for sounds, Be sealed with thy mellifluousness. Mind, burning with thoughts and memoir, Be filled with thy evergreen memories. Kisses-made scars on my lips, Heal in the sweet chants of thy name. Reminiscences of journey,   Unto thee my love, my feet tranquil. That’s enough for me, Buried under the earth, I resurrect- Newborn leaves of grass.